I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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