is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
