I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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