i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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