I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
