it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
if only i could text you this smell
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
