In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
