You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
