Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
