Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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