No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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