i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
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