like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
