So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
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Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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