i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
