I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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