Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
