I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
