Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
