I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
