His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
