My balls are so social today.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
