We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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