Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
