What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
