dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
