Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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