Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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