I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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