you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So many bounce houses so little time
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
