I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
