is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize