im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
