I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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