problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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