What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
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I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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