dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
