His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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