Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
