I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Still dying that you shit outside
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
