You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
