Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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