I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
