woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
