The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
