So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
