You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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