i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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