remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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