We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
