all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
