I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
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i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
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She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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