I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
