NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
