I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
