My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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