fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
