How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
