Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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