Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
