I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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