did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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