I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
